It has been a while since I last published a Bridezilla post, hasn’t it?
I had hoped to write a little thing about last weekend’s Wedding Palace Bridal Show, complete with a photo of me with my most favourite of all wedding-related gurus, Randy Fenoli. If I’m honest, Randy’s highly-anticipated appearance was the only reason why I wanted to go, and I was not the only bride-to-be who was disappointed to learn – at the entrance – that a family emergency kept him Stateside.
Bridal Show Fail #1: Seeing as the organizers more than likely knew prior to the show opening on the Sunday that Randy wasn’t coming, the correct thing to do would have been to post that news on Facebook and Twitter as soon as they found out. Not doing that gave a lot of people, myself included, the impression that all of the promotion behind Randy’s appearance was nothing but a bait-and-switch. Okay, the “switch” in this case was Dennis Johnson, Randy’s manager. But still, the optics were very, very poor. I also would have recommended that everyone who bought a ticket on the premise that they would get to have a meet-and-greet & photo op with Randy, should have been given a complimentary copy of Randy’s new book, It’s All About The Dress.
Bridal Show Fail #2: Allowing businesses like Table Charm and Cuisine Santé International to have booths at what you are touting as a highly-reputable wedding planning event. Rental fees are a vital income source for the show, yes, but let’s promote some standards? I’ve written a Bridezilla post about my experience with Table Charm. Essentially, your name entered in a draw at a Table Charm booth will get you an invitation by telephone to a “dinner for two.” What you actually get, other than a gift bag and a pot-holder as an immediate reward for dropping your ballot, is a hard-backed chair at a direct sales event and the chance to pay a small fortune for a set of cookware with a “lifetime guarantee.” There is also no dinner (unless two small bites of chicken and a miniscule piece of cauliflower each is your idea of a dinner for two). The BIG carrot that gets dangled is a 5-day, 4-night Caribbean cruise. But you have to commit to the cookware.
Just don’t do it. You can get a comparable set of Lagostina cookware at Costco for a tenth of Table Charm’s retail price. And double shame on bridal shows like Wedding Palace who encourage companies like Table Charm by allowing them to rent booths.
After dragging me by the pant leg to the photobooth vendor, my daughter convinced me to stay for the fashion show, which consisted of many a strapless gown. I guess that trend isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon? I did a double-take at what I hope isn’t the latest style in bridal headpieces, a piece of lace that wraps around the bride’s head and looks very much like a sleep mask at its widest point. Thank you, but no. I will wear a rhinestone tiara instead of a veil, if it turns out that as a second-time-around bride I cannot wear a veil. (Yes, Mom, I am fully aware that a blusher veil is out of the question. No, I am not going to settle for a cocktail dress from Laura II. See, these are the highly important issues I wanted to discuss with Randy. He’s gotta come back to Ottawa now.)
Speaking of bridal gowns, the other trend that has gained considerable traction is “Trash the Dress.” It’s a style of wedding photography that results in a piece of artwork that the bride and groom may wish to hang on their wall. In many cases, the dress is destroyed in the process by getting wet, dirty, or in extreme circumstances, torn or completely destroyed.
Okay. Look. I get that a bride wants to make a statement that the wedding is over and done and she won’t be using the dress again. And who wants to bear the cost of cleaning and storing it? But instead of taking a gown that can cost four or five figures in retail and rending it into strips of fabric, could we not think of another alternative, such donating the dress (in wearable condition, please) to a charity such as The Cinderella Project so that a low-income bride-to-be has the opportunity to look and feel like a princess on her wedding day? Just a point to ponder, people.
Last, but not least, I have found a reality show related to weddings that is absolutely abhorrent for its unapologetic bitchiness. Yes, even more so than Rich Bride, Poor Bride or Four Weddings. It is the namesake of the title of this very series of blog posts: Bridezillas. The first episode hit the airwaves in 2004, and now the Slice network in Canada has picked it up.
I’m embarrassed and ashamed for everyone involved: the bride, the groom, and the families and friends who have implicated themselves in this nonsense. I would rather watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo or any of The Real Housewives series back-to-back than suffer the entitlement mentality of these supposedly grown women. You’re old enough and supposedly possess the maturity to make the life-altering decision to be legally married to another sentient being? Please start acting like it, before someone watching hits the red button and the entire planet explodes?
And on that note, I’ll leave you with a photo of me and my daughter from the photobooth. Because a little levity is a very good thing.